2013 was not the year I thought it was going to be. I didn’t change the world. I didn’t accomplish what I wanted to. After 2012, ‘The Year of the Break-Up’, I had big visions for 2013 to be better. Way better. I wasn’t going to be held back by anyone so there would be nothing standing in my way, right? Standing on my own two feet, accomplishing all my goals and dreams. Making a difference…
“I want to leave a footprint on the sands of time…” (Beyoncé – I Was Here)
It would be easy to reflect back on this year as a failure. I’ve moved three times this year alone and will be moving again at the end of January. I don’t know where I will be moving. If I will have to rent or will be able to finally buy my own place. I don’t know if I will be able to bring my cat and dog with me or if they will have to continue to live with my Mom.
I’m not where I want to be financially. I didn’t build my business to the level I wanted to. I haven’t worked on the projects I wanted to or accomplished the goals I wanted to accomplish. This past year I’ve felt stuck. Unable to move forward. I felt like I was only playing the role of an adult. I didn’t help as many people as I wanted to. I didn’t spend as much time with God and reading His word like I aspired to. I didn’t journal or read as many books as I planned to.
“I want to say I lived each day, until I die…” (Beyoncé – I Was Here)
I have so many dreams and goals I want to achieve and so many people I want to bless. I want to change the world and leave it a better place. It would be easy to say that I accomplished none of that this past year, but…when I look back I can see so many things that I’m grateful for. Great friends and family who love me and challenge me to grow. A great church community that embraces and shines an example of Jesus’ love. I’ve had the opportunity to co-lead (with two amazing woman) an amazing group of woman in a C3 ladies connect group. I love kids and I was able to volunteer for our pre-school kids church. I’m grateful for the opportunity to spend time with the cutest set of twins and their ‘old soul’ older brother. Conversations with a four year old are my favourite! I’m grateful for the opportunity to bless a family of six this Christmas. I’m grateful for each new day that God grants me and for His amazing love, grace and mercy.
I’m looking forward to this new year, because each new day is another opportunity. Another opportunity to do better, be better and live my best life. The one God has planned for me. And I’ll try not to get in His way. The only way to keep moving forward is to not look backwards for too long. No matter what I did or didn’t accomplish yesterday I have a new opportunity today to make a difference. To love people. As Jesus once did and still does today.
“I just want them to know, that I gave my all, did my best. Brought someone some happiness. Left this world a little better just because…I was here…” (Beyoncé – I Was Here)
So as the last hours of 2013 are winding down I am looking forward to and am excited for the New Year. A clean slate, a fresh start. An opportunity to keep moving forward. To leave my mark on the world. I think everyone, when it comes to the end of the line want to know that they didn’t live their life for nothing. That they were loved and loved others. That they took risks and lived their life to the fullest. They want to be remembered by someone that they were here. That they mattered. That they made a difference to this world. That’s what I want.
As the saying goes, “I’m not where I want to be, but I’m sure glad I’m not where I was”
Thank you God for that!
Happy New Year everyone!
*Enjoy this awesome Beyoncé video, I love this song, I could listen to it on repeat. Queen B has a way with the lyrics of her songs that either make you want to dance or touch deep. Sometimes both!